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Calamity showed up 15 minutes late and loaded. Sigh.
Girls were all very good and baby crawled all over the church.
Horrid Pic of me, but girls all look nice.
S ended the Service with the Traditional second verse solo of Silent Night. (The lights are lowered, it's very moving and the church goes dark as Crappy video (taken by J) but voice is nice!!
The next day, the madness started. Well not exactly the next day. RIGHT before we left for church S asked if she could spend Christmas Eve with Calamity. I said, Really? you whip this out on me 10 minutes before we are ready to leave for church?
I just gave up and said yes. It just wasn't worth her ruining everyone's Christmas Eve with attitude and snarkiness, which would have happened.
However, had I known her mother would be loaded....
At any rate, the only kids we ended up with were J and M1. So we got a bit of a ly-in on Christmas morning.
Everyone loved their gifts, which was AMAZING as we had such limited funding this year. I actually DID do the Wal Mart Black friday thingy to score J a new laptop for 178. It was a deal I couldn't pass up as our budget was $200 per child!
S showed up with Calamity and K about 11 am, and they loved their gifts as well. (we only buy for the kids now, too many in the family!)
While they were here, oldest daughter C came over with A, who had spent the night with her Mom.
And the battle commenced. Calamity is sitting at table being snarky because son in law refused to pass the peace with her at church last night...(He didn't, but as he is a recovering alcoholic of 15 years AND his father is a Lutheran Minister, he was MIGHTILY offended by Calamity showing up loaded in church), so he shook her hand and then turned away.
Calamity starts making barbed and pointed comments. C comes breezing in with A and bf L, Tells me she has to cook some dessert thingy for work (nurse, working afternoon shift) and begins DESTROYING my kitchen (which I had just cleaned).
She C is ignoring her sister Calamity, Calamity is snarking about this and that, Dave is hiding in bedroom, kids are playing, we are desperately trying to get M1 to TAKE A NAP (epic failure). I am texting Son in law (nurse's ex husband) and asking him if he has a sharp olive fork so I can gouge my eyeballs until blood squirts out!
He says....(remember this is the recovering alcoholic), Go and POUR YOURSELF A GLASS OF WINE!!
What a MARVELOUS idea!! and so I did.
Eventually they all left. I got up and cleaned the kitchen. It was relatively quiet. Son in law had made this MASSIVE lasagna for me to cook on Christmas Day so I wouldn't have to mess with anything. I love him!
I put it in the oven, kicked back and read, sitting at kitchen table with my tablet. LOL.
Kids played. Baby finally slept for a few. Quiet reigned.
Son in law came over at 2:30 when he got off work and picked up A, and then they came back for dinner about 5 ish.
S wanted to spend the night with her BF who lives 3 houses away, so I said yes. She texted me at 12:30 pm to tell me one of her braces brackets FELL OFF. I didn't get the text till this morning when I awoke, and am waiting for her to answer me. It may require a trip to orthodontist. It's SNOWING again and orthodontist is a one hour drive NORTH...where it is ALSO Snowing....
Life goes on. and on. and on.
My wish for all of us out there, that our children find sobriety, or if that can't happen, that we find peace with their addiction. That we stop putting money down a heroin hole. That we take back OUR lives and LIVE them. That we continue to pray.
I love you, Dawn. You set an example for the rest of us. Our Christmas was quiet until the kids arrived around 5:30. We had so much fun with them. They left around lunch time today and I miss them already. The good news: They will be back in a couple of weeks. Life is good!
ReplyDeleteThank you! But really..an example of how to be a nut case! Lol.
DeleteDawn you have a talent for identifying and describing the things that are hard to identify and describe. This is one of your best - "As parents of an active addict, we lose our choice. And our control. And, as parents of a non active addict, we sometimes have to make decisions which make us uncomfortable and backed into a corner. That's where I am."
ReplyDeleteAmen to that! That is where i am and it sort of makes you miss the days when they were doing so poorly, or locked up, that all decisions were cut and dry. The answer was always NO and that was that. NO we will not let you see the kids aside from your supervised visits at the community program. NO, now that your locked up, we will not bring the kids to jail/rehab visitation. I dont care if everyone else does. NO
Yes it has taken much of the joy out of the season. Luckily, my daughter was not loaded, but she texted in church even after i told her not to, let the kids play with her phone after i told her not to, and of course at the end of the last fo the parties they were consitentley telling me NO and looking for her. My hubby thinks im a scrooge. I i love the Lord, i teach Religion at our church, but i must say i am glad its over so we can get back to her every other week visitation and no more holiday parties!!!
I am infamous for my one saying..."I really don't care if she gets on a bus, or run over by a bus. Either one as long as it involves a bus and her gone!"
DeleteI totally get where you are.
Good one!
DeleteHi Dawn! Hope you've discovered the writer, Anne Lamott, whose writings and books have kept me sane. She, herself, is in recovery - and writes about so many relevant topics. She's a beautiful writer. "Like" her on FB and get her feed - you'll be glad you did. I need to catch up with you and all the pints. One day . . .
ReplyDeleteDawn -- I too, love your writing. I'm just so damn impressed you got everyone to show up at church - even if one was loaded -- sorry. ��. I love that grandbaby of yours -- OMG, is she cute !! You made me feel better about our Christmas Day -- with my brother making judgemental & pot stirring comments. I thought something would boil over-- but fortunately, it didn't. So glad he's got everything all figured out. LOL. Even my D showed up for church -- on time,...totally sober -- was gracious & involved on Christmas Eve & the next day. I loved picturing your home and all that was going on. And yes-- those husbands do love to hide in the bedroom ! My favorite here was that son in law who made the huge lasagna. How great is he ?? Happy New Year !
ReplyDelete