You know, I have discovered my literally BIGGEST BITCH about life. I don't actually know how to put it though.
You all know someone, who does something so assholian (that is now an official word...LOL), that you are so completely and totally blown away by the assholian action that you go to either your spouse, or your children or even your best friend.....
and you say "Did you HEAR what so and so DID?"
and they say "Well, you KNOW how he/she is..." AND THAT IS IT?
So, If I do something out of character, or I am mean spirited for a day, or more bitchy than usual, or snap at one of the kids
THE. WORLD. COMES. TO. AN. END.
And, instead of my
THEY CALL ME ON THE CARPET!!
Everyone else gets to get away with bad behavior but me.
My mother in law, only 70, acts like she is 90 and there is no reason. She totters when she walks because she is too stupid to eat right. She lost 100 pounds LITERALLY because she was eating only green beans and crackers. She is a DIABETIC. She falls. She gets hysterical.We get 3 a.m. phone calls and have to gte out of bed and go over. She has done all of these for the last 30 years, so it's NOT recent....
What do they say? Oh, you know how Grandma is....
DH doesn't come out of the bedroom for days (he IS disabled, but still). Oh, you know how Pappy is.
Calamity promises things to her 2 children, Oh, you know how Mom is...
Nursey forgets to give her kid her MEDS (hello....did you see the part about NURSEY, oh yeah, has a DEGREE IN NURSING) OH! you know how she is.
I could go on and on. But, I won't.
So why is it that WE, the ones who do the daily grind, the ones who keep the family together, What the hell is it in our DNA or RNA or whatever makes us ... US, what is it that keeps us going?
Why are we constantly striving to improve ourselves. Why do we read and think and change. Why don't we just....I don't know,
say FUCK IT ALL and let it roll?
Now THIS is something for the experts to ponder. What was it in our early childhood development that made us so stringy, so...so....(not enough caffeine) um....full of piss and vinegar as my Gran used to say, so damned defiant? What is it that drives us to never say "I'm just giving up."
In my next life, I want to be a 5'2" total and completely blissful idiot with big boobs and a vapid smile. And marry a really rich husband. And have a maid, a butler and a cook.