Thursday, October 31, 2013

Most hated day of the month

see, we live on a disabled veteran's pension, along with Social Security Disability. It's not much. for a family of 7, we get a whopping almost 4k a month. That sounds like pretty good eh? close to $48k a year, right?

Till you add up mortgage, car payment, cable, water, electric, gas, insurance, taxes, cell phone bill (how DID we live without them?)...

Add in credit cards. Well, the thing about the credit cards is that I USE them to LIVE ON during the month. I do all my shopping with a credit card, and then I PAY THEM OFF COMPLETELY at the end of the month, hence, no interest charged.

So, I just figured out the bills. We have a whopping $.30 left lmao! WHOOP WHOOP!!

I'm about a month behind on the gas, the cable, and the electric. Not enough to risk shutoff. I just don't pay them till I get the new bill (which usually comes pretty close to giving me heart failure). Then I figure out the PAST DUE amount and pay that. Ah well. It keeps the lights on.

When the latest President was first elected, we had over $4,000 in savings. I don't care where your political loyalties lie, I go by my bank account. You know how much I have been able to save in the last 6 years?



and Christmas is right around the corner. OH!

So S doesn't believe anymore. Good on her. Easy Christmas, she wants money.

remember the good old days where you didn't even think twice about handing out 3 grand on Christmas?

Yah. Our budget is $200 per kid.

Welcome to the recession.

Oh, and if you are over 18, guess what? you are dropped from the Christmas and Birthday lists. Only the children under 18 get anything. Its what we HAD to do. Not fair, but then life seldom is.

J.....believes. Now J is in 7th grade. Which is a bit late to BELIEVE. But, remember, J is only ELEVEN years old.  So I can't just whip out $200 bucks and give it to her.  WTF?

And the things kids want are NOT CHEAP. No more Bratz dolls. Nope. They want new laptops. New smart phones. New tablets. The latest technology. An Xbox One. (like THAT's gonna happen!)

Oh. the grands that do not live with us, they get a nice crisp $50 bill.  A told me don't get her money because her Dad, Cop makes her put half in the bank!!  So for her I will get a nice Visa gift card for the same amount. TAKE THAT COP!!  Ha ha.

The baby will be easy.

K will be easy. She loves anything Monster High.

J...won't be easy.

I hate bill paying day!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Today, both girls came really close to missing school. I woke them both up one time. Kept hearing S's alarm. Sent a siren to her phone (lookout mobile security) 17 times, which she slept thru! (It is REALLY loud BTW). M's light was on so I figured she was up. I have an alarm set on my phone for a ten minute warning till bus comes. (Eric Burden and the Animals - We Gotta Get Out of This Place...)

Guess what finally woke S up? Yep. My alarm!

I went to the bottom of the stairs to let J know there was 10 mins left...and she also was SOUND ASLEEP!


They both made it to bus. Tomorrow, I will not offer any help at all. If they sleep through, not only will they both get a Fri night detention and a Saturday detention, they are grounded for a week. Which means missing Halloween trick or treat, the movie double date S has planned for Friday night, and any activities otherwise planned. It also means J will be sidelined for first basketball game because she will receive 4 demerits for EACH detention.


I have got to clean today. No energy. I am still refusing to clean M's responsibilities I.e. living and dining room. They are now GROSS. I will clean bathroom and kitchen.

It would be way easier to just frickin do it myself, which I have done for years. Only takes me about an hour really. Run sweeper, empty dishwasher, dust, pick up stuff.

I keep telling them, I WILL NOT LIVE FOREVER. They must and will learn to care for and about things other than themselves.......

We will see.  If J left clothes out, they will be in front yard today.

Happy cold, dreary Ohio weather day to all!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Red Tape and Redding Up

Ooops. Some of you might not know what to 'redd up' means!



I live with slobs. It's my own fault really, and that doesn't give me one whit of satisfaction whatsoever.  Being super mom throughout the first group of children didn't help either!! Now they all think it is an entitlement to sit on their ass and let me do the work.

Guess what?

Life is a constant change right?  I mean, heck, I have had to change over and over and over. So I think that it is time for some OTHER people in my family to learn to deal with changes.

Like. I am only cleaning the kitchen from now on. There are four rooms on this floor. Living room, Dining room, Kitchen and Bedroom. Plus bathroom.

I may start chucking stuff out into the yard as well. I have been known to do that in the past.  Little J (formerly known as Half Pint) is the biggest culprit. she undresses anywhere and everywhere and my dining room table and chairs are her usual throwing place. Bookbag. Cheering Bag. pants. clothes. socks. Normally I pick them all up and deposit them on the stairs to her room. I just did that.

Tomorrow, they get chucked out into the yard where she can pick them up when she arrives home from school off the bus.

S (formerly known as Pint), she has a problem with dishes. Well, so does J actually. Now I could forbid them to eat in their rooms, which I have done numerous times in the past. Didn't work out that well as our home is not large. I could do lots of things.

I could chuck out the dishes in the yard too. My yard may be the most colorful yard on the block soon!! Corelle ware, bra's, yoga pants with zebra stripes......plastic cups? Could get interesting!!

Hubby.  Okay.  He likes coffee. So do I. I am the one who turned him onto gourmet coffee. Made in a french press. (we have four). He leaves the nasty, cold coffee grounds in the bottom and doesn't clean HIS french press. EWWWWW. gross personified!  Not sure what to do about that. So  far, I have been making MY coffee in the morning and instead of the usual (me bringing him a cup while he lazes in bed), I have just been yelling from the kitchen "water is hot if you want to make YOUR coffee...." lol.

M, who is 24 and should know better, will do whatever I ask of her but ONLY IF I ASK. I am making Living room (where she sleeps) and Dining room (where the baby sleeps) HER responsibility.

And they can all share cleaning the toilet.

I think this might be a revolution!

Tried to shift all our prescriptions over to Express Scripts to get 90 day supply mailed. Savings of over $100 a month as well.  All got turned down. Just spent 25 minutes on phone to find out Dr office did not specify DIRECTIONS on prescription. sigh. Called Dr. office. Spoke with staff. Asked them nicely to  please re-submit.  sheesh.

Just another day in paradise I guess.  J will not be able to get up her stairs. LOL. there is way to much stuff on them.

Also thinking of having DH do nightly room checks for cleanliness. I've been doing this crap for enough years. Time for him to step up!!

This could be a fun year :)

Oh. Does anyone else have a house with cold and hot spots?  It's flipping FREEZING in my kitchen and when you go into the living room, it's hotter than heck. Thermostat set to 70. I bought ceiling fans for all rooms in the apparently misplaced hope that they would help distribute the heat or cold more evenly? I mean, that is what the advertisments say?

Don't EVER put a ceiling fan in a kitchen that has one of those hood vent that supposedly cleans the air and blows it back out. The hood vent works, and then the ceiling fan blows the grease evenly throughout the kitchen and all over the cupboards. That was fun cleaning yesterday. My ceiling fan will be a decoration in the kitchen LOL.

We still have one more to replace, in J's room. It's been sitting up there for 3 months now. Thinking maybe I'll just go up and start it myself. I don't do electricity well, and DH knows for a fact I will either electrocute myself or burn the house down. So MY theory is that if I go up and start, he will have no choice but to come do it. Dastardly woman that I am!!

Also there is a tree in the backyard that came down last storm 6  months ago. Guess what? This girl is going to grab the chain saw. The problem is, I cannot START the chainsaw. So I will have to bring it in for HIM to start.....

Oh, we have our ways...yes we do!!

Good day all <3

Monday, October 28, 2013

So here I am 15 years later.

Life actually does continue after dealing with all the drama, jails, rehabs. Guess what? I survived. More or less intact.

Who'da Thunk?

Most of my life today revolves around parenting my grandchildren and helping my mentally ill daughter learn to manage both her life and her 11 month old daughter.

So household is...DH, age 50, 100% disabled Vet.
Me, - My Facebook pages says Tired, at Mostly Retired. age 58
D - 24 (recovvering from brain injury trauma) daughter
S - age 14, should be in 8th grade, is in 10th and also a Freshman at local University granddaughter
A- age 12, 7th grade, part-time custodial grandkid, both parents function, are divorced and work shifts. granddaughter
J - age11, should be in 5th grade, is in 7th grade. granddaughter
M - D's daughter, age almost 11 Months. granddaughter

4 dogs. 3 cats.

Kids that no longer live with us?

C- Nurse, A's Mother. working full time and going back to college to be RN lives 5 mins away
R- Foster Kid, married, Nurse 4 kids lives about an hour away.
B - Son. lives with gf. Finally 10 minutes away
S1 - mother of S & J. has another child K.  still goes to methadone clinic everyday, for the last 8 years. lives about 1 hour away
C1 A's Dad. Lives about 5 mins away. A splits her time between C and C1 and Our house.

One VERY large box of Wine. Yes, I now belong to the "Boxed Wine Mom's Club on FB" !!

Most trying thing today? Getting S up for school! I am so sick and tired of multiple trips up and down stairs to wake that kid up!!  I can literally scream in her face and she just sleeps peacefully on with her alarm clock making very LOUD obnoxious noise 6 inches from her ear!!  How DO they do that?

I am so sick of it...after several years (since she hit teenhood) I called school the other day and talked to principal. I said "look, I know the law. But here's the thing. This kid, although only 14, has GOT to learn to get out of bed herself!!  I realize that I won't get a visit from truant officer until she has 10 unexcused absences. Here is my thought.  I wake her ONE TIME. If she fails to get up, she misses bus, and therefore school. The next day when she shows up WITHOUT A NOTE FROM ME EXCUSING HER STUPIDITY, can you PLEASE just give her both Friday Night Detention AND Saturday Detention?  Is that in your power? Because I am pretty damn sick and tired of this shit!!"  (this was on a voicemail btw, yah, I am one of those weirdo's who talk to VM  like I have you on the phone...)

He called back, chuckling and left ME a VM (I was taking a nap and didn't feel like answering) and said "I would be MOST happy to bend the procedures a bit in this case and will definitely be on board with your dastardly plan!)

So last night, I told S a "modified version". I simply said "Okay, here's the thing SOPHOMORE TENTH GRADER.....I will wake you ONE TIME and ONE TIME only. If you go back to sleep,  you will miss school and when you go the next day I will NOT send you a note, which means you WILL go to principal's office and you WILL get detention, - Got it?" To which she replied...Yes.

Am I being to harsh? Probably. Let's face it, the kid is 14 and a straight A student, 2 grades advanced AND going to University with a 3.8 G.P.A.  Her answer is "What do you want from me?"

Um. grades are great. Now how about cleaning the pigsty you call a room, help ME out around the house, don't talk back and also, GET UP IN THE MORNING!

She says I am being unreasonable. I tell her "that's my job!" and walk away. GRRRRR

BTW. she did, in fact, get up on her own this morning. I guess if you don't HAVE to do something, you won't? Now she has to because I refuse. It will be HER suffering the consequences, not me.

Which, as any of you who have been with me all along's what I sort of started out wanting to do. I know PART of their mom's addiction was because she had no coping skills for failure, AND, Stupid parent's that we were back then, we rushed in where even Angel's fear to tread. So I did decide to NOT make that mistake again, and to let the girls suffer the consequences of their actions (or lack thereof).

That's a lot harder than it sounds. God I love these Grandbabies an awful lot,and I have to constantly watch myself from thinking..."oh, give them a break. both their parents are poly abusers, dad's currently in jail, mom just go out of 15th or 16th rehab (I've lost count).....

That is SUCH a dangerous road to go down. Every parent is an enabler, it's what we freaking DO as parents from the day we bring them home from the hospital!! Its what our culture raised us to do.

So, I have to "self-check" on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. Not let them use that as an excuse (they have tried) and not offer it to them as an excuse.

I thought about it the other day. for 42 years straight now, I have been parenting children and running a house (sometimes while holding a full time job). You know what?

I am REALLY TIRED of this.  I get sick and tired of making dinner every night. Sick and tired of cleaning. Wish I was rich enough to hire someone. Dream about hitting Lottery (I've heard your chances are proportionately higher if you play however....) buying a mansion, paying taxes 100 years in advance, and hiring a maid and a cook. Spend most of my time in whirlpool bath with a glass of Cabernet and a good book.

That's MY fantasy!!

Good day all. Hope you find your way here. This blog is about the insanity of teenagers being raised by a tired, bitchy old lady.

Welcome to Life After A Junkie Kid.